Embracing Impostor syndrome as a woman in technology

GUEST BLOG // WARRIORWOMENCOLLECTIVE

“Own your insecurities, embrace the fear of the unknown, have courage to get stuck in and own your stage

Have you ever felt that you're not good enough, out of your depth, a fraud, or just not qualified enough to do a job? Have you ever felt that all of your accomplishments are down to pure luck or chance? Have you ever felt that everyone else is working harder or more intelligent than you? Have you ever felt terrified to make mistakes? Have you ever believed that you are selling a lie rather than a reality? Do you feel like someone is going to catch you out one day?

Well.. let me tell you a little something. I still feel all of these things and often feel as if I have no clue what I'm doing with my personal and work life. I can imagine you have at some point too, right?

Sometimes I get the fear of not being experienced enough, or not having the right technical knowledge. Sometimes I feel insecure about being the youngest member of a leadership team. Sometimes I even question my own professionalism because I prefer wearing colourful power outfits with trainers instead of the classic dress and stilettos. Sometimes I've felt inadequate when being the only women in a boardroom dominated by men and think 'Should I even be here!?'.

As a female in the technology industry, let me tell you... I've been there, done that, and I’ve got the "Feeling like a Fraud Certificate". However, over the years I've made a conscious effort to make that change, because 99% of the time, we DO deserve to be sat at that board meeting. So, what is now different about my outlook on this? I have managed to shift my mindset and divert these feelings of inadequacy and disillusion into constructive positivity. I define constructive positivity as taking a pause on those negative feelings, realising when you're slipping into self-doubt, shifting immediately into a moment of gratitude (usually thinking of 3 positives in this situation) which can help reset and rewire your brain.

This has given me the confidence to empower women who are also facing the same feelings and, give them a safe space to do so through the power of social media.

If you didn't already know, this feeling of inadequacy is called Imposter Syndrome.

Imposter syndrome is:

• Characterised by the conviction that you don't deserve your success

• The feeling that you're not as intelligent, creative or talented as other people seem to believe you are

• The suspicion that your achievements are down to luck, good timing or just being in the right place at the right time

• Accompanied by the fear that, one day, you'll be exposed as a fraud

Its estimated nearly 70% of people experience signs and symptoms of Imposter Syndrome, and often its more women who experience this feeling. In fact, its 6 out of 10 of those women that experience this.

The Gender Gap; Imposter Syndrome In STEM

The gender gap in Science, Technology, Engineering and Maths (STEM) is far from a new problem. It has existed in so many ways other than just pay for years. The gender gap is the difference between women and men as reflected in social, political, intellectual, cultural or economic attainments of attitudes and has reigned our society for years.

Did you know that back during WWII, six women programmed the first computer? Yes, these incredible ladies created the first ever Electrical Numerical Integrator and Computer (ENIAC). But, these women went unrecognised and unrewarded for their efforts. Instead of credit for their work, they were identified as 'Refrigerator Ladies' aka models used to make products appear more appealing. Without doubt these women faced gender inequality throughout the time in technology roles.

These days, I'm not sure how well any women would react to being called a 'Refrigerator Lady', but I can contest to witnessing the gender gap first hand as a women who transitioned to the tech world in the 21st century. Did you know that only 27% of female students said they would consider a career in technology, compared to 61% of males.

This was the case for me too when I was in school. Growing up, I was top of my I.T class, but didn't even see it as a worthwhile option to study at university because it was so uncommon for women to be passionate about technology. There were barriers in my mindset, limited career support, and I didn’t have sight of any female tech role models that could inspire me into this industry. In fact, these days only 16% of females had a career in technology suggested to them instead of 33% of males and, only 5% of leadership positions in technology are held by women.. WE HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY TO CHANGE THIS!!

Reflecting on this now, It is clear that had two options: I could sit there and dwell on these stats or I could try and make a difference to the world. I have therefore made it my own personal mission to try and squash that gender gap through coaching females into technology, empowering them through training and leadership content and giving them a platform to do so. I'm now on the way to setting up a business in order to take this one step further, with the intention of boosting the confidence of young females and helping them combat their inner imposter syndrome.

Changing YOUR mindset

Finally, don’t forget that 70% of people are in the same boat as you! I think the fundamental difference between people is how they choose to react to Imposter Syndrome. Everyone will experience this in different ways. I particularly struggle with the whole "not knowing enough" type of Imposter Syndrome. I recently moved from an Innovation role using SAP and Emerging technologies to a Data Operations role using the Google technologies. I didn't know anything about Operations, Data, Analytics, or Google but after a few weeks of feeling like I was going to drown, I finally started swimming again and started to believe that I did know enough. Some key messages I would like to share about how you can react when in this situation.

You can either be:

• Arrogant and believe that you know everything (you don't really want to be this person)

• Over the top and lie about something you don't know and assume it makes you qualified (when you're so not, don't lie)

• Honest and just say you don’t know something, ask questions and be curious (yes, do this. You don't know everything but show the willingness and passion to learn)

A few years ago, one of my leaders gave some brilliant feedback to me -

"Who cares what and how many years' experience other people have on you, if they're more technical than you, older than you it really doesn’t matter. You're here for a reason. You're here because you can do and learn things that they can't do with that many years of experience under their belt. Being authentic is what makes you good at what you do".

This powerful feedback has stuck with me for a long time and it’s helped me drive the insecure feelings away through hard work, ongoing self-development and continual feedback. If you can't take feedback (positive or negative) then how are you ever going to grow?!